These guys don't exactly have small dicks, you know

There are some miscellanies from my last trip that I need to get down before I depart on my next itinerary in a scarcely a week's time. On which more soon, so worry not your pretty little heads my dearies!

So I'm in Zambia researching my novel. And I'm spending a little time out in the bush with my friend Arthur Mpashi, who is operating two mineral-exploration drilling rigs hard by the Congolese border. All of our movements are accompanied by a detail of Zambian police officers hired by the mining outfit to protect us and their assets against the depredations of Congolese bandits, who were said to be rampant in the area. Being a naive and questioning sort, my first response was to doubt. Engaging the officers one at a time, I asked them what all the fuss was about. Had they really encountered big bad Congo bandits in this area? And if so, what had they done about it? Common to all these conversations was the claim, proudly asserted by the smiling man I was chatting with, that he had shot and killed a Congolese bandit in the past year, sometimes several. "Eh! Me I've killed many. Just this past month I have shot not one but TWO! At first I had bad dreams about it, but then I relaxed. Your friends, they give you courage." Some took a more reverent tone toward the forces at play in the line of their duty, but they all underscored the existence of the Congolese menace. A few days into my stint in the bush, when I began feeling restless, I walked about 30 paces into the bush from our campsite to do some calisthenics.

Arthur was frowning and clucking when I returned. He managed to look somehow paternal behind his big mirrored shades. "Where have you been, mate? I was scared to death for you!" When I told him I had just been getting some exercise, here's what he had to say: "These Congolese, they will give you exercise if they find you. You will run away, but they will catch you. And then they will rape you. If you are lucky, that is all they will do. And these guys don't exactly have small dicks, you know mate?"